the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
