I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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