Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
