Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
