I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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