She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
