It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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