We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize