It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
