Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
