Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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