ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I need water and some morals
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
