I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
