How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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