So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
handjob tips. give me some.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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