You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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