The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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