grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
