I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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