k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
