And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Less talking, more tequila
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
