Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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