Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
