On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My ass is underappreciated
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
