hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
