I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
try to milk me bitch
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
