sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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