At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
