Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize