I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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