it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Fuck appropriateness.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
