I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i think i have two assholes
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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