It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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