my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
