i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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