I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
