Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
