It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
