just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
