guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
