and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
