I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
