I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
