My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
