i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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