You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
