u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
