she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Of course I have a pirate flag
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
