Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize