Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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