oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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