I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
one two three fourrrrnication!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
