i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
