Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
