I just saw a hot homeless man
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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