Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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