This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
