so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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