with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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