Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
