Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
