Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize