matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
