the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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