i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You ruined the universe
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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