i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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