haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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