i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
