The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
